East 4 Ever

So this will be my final West 4 Winter blog.

As some of you already know I am heading back home January 27th. The reason I haven't posted sooner on this blog either is I have been under the weather for quite some time. What I initially deducted as a simple cold and soon came to realize it was something far worse. Now being out here I did not have access to a doctor but I'm fairly certain I had acute bronchitis. No fun whatsoever. Today I woke up and took a hot shower and felt like I had much more strength today. I am still coughing and dealing with drainage, but I feel like my fever has subsided and I can breathe a little better. I am still going to take it easy today hopefully insuring no relapse and in turn maybe I will feel almost 100% better tomorrow.

If you have followed this blog thus far, then I am sure you have learned some insight as to some things I've learned and also struggled with. One thing that I have failed to mention that I have learned is how important it is to be around those that you care about and those that care about you. Maybe I am really that much of a homebody. With that thought I think about the song Half Light by Athlete. It's a really beautiful love song about being away from his significant other and the lines interwoven into the melody evokes such a sad and longing notion. "And all that I've seen means nothing to me without you". No matter where I could travel or witness, without loved ones there to share it with - it's almost worthless. 

Honestly there are so many things I am looking forward to coming back home. Right now the biggest one is food. I haven't had the luxury of really and decent food out here. Whether that be home cooked or some take-out pizza from Pizza Hut. This craving is probably more emphasized right now due to being sick and unable to eat much these past few days. Based on commercials that have been on T.V. I am really wanting to hit a Golden Corral buffet and slide over to Red Lobster as well... let's face it, I am hungry.

So my last 7 days in Colorado should look like this. Friday through Monday I will be working if my health is up to it. Daniel will be arriving late Monday night and go skiing Tuesday and Wednesday. On Tuesday I will ship my luggage via FedEx. Wednesday I will turn in my uniform for good. Thursday I will turn in my room key and then head over to Frisco to be picked up by my shuttle to take me to the airport. My plane departs around 4:00 and lands in Atlanta close to 9:00.

So for today I will work on my East4Ever playlist to enjoy on the 3 hour flight back home. See you soon Georgia.

Reflections, Rewards, and Reasons

Back to work from two days of rest and trying to get over my lovely cold or whatever it is that is trying to keep me down. I started the day off torn between wanting the hours and hoping to get no work at all to go back to resting.  As I hung out with kids in the morning as they trickled in slowly all through the morning until around 9:45 I had a supervisor come up to me and said their was a parent downstairs that wanted to thank me. I found this quite puzzling since I hadn't taught a lesson since Monday. I made my way downstairs and recognized the parents waiting below, their daughter was a girl named Ally whom I got to teach on Monday. A brief conversation was simply the parents thanked me for the skills training I taught their daughter and how impressed they were by seeing the improvements in her. They then gave me a nice tip and went on their way.

Sure tips are few and far between and are nice to receive, but the reward was so much more than a tip. To get a genuine recognition from parents at the work you put into a child's life is priceless. I'm not writing this to brag but simply because I was so humbled in remembering how putting forth the effort to achieve a goal, (in this case get a kid skiing better), the reward can be so satisfying. Sure at the end of the day parents will thank you for giving their child a lesson for the day, but those parents still hunted me down three days later to make it a point that they were truly grateful. Personally I find that a rarity in people and it was such a breath of fresh air.

Reminds me of how it felt to be counselor. Some of the words that parents can say really can knock your socks off (mythbusters proved human strength alone can't knock your socks off). Being in the position I am now at camp further emphasizes how important it is for me to provide a fun environment for kids and maybe even more importantly an easier job for counselors in the areas I directly affect for them. If I fail a counselor I may fail a kid's experience at camp. That's a bit of a scary thought and puts a weight on my shoulders that I must let God bear as I cannot do it on my own. Hard to let go...but I must.

Around 10:00 I was placed in a class tag teaming it with another instructor. For a change of pace these kids were in the 10-15 age range, being my first class with this age group. I thought well this might not be so bad, I won't have to deal with crying and picking up kids every 30 seconds. (I know that is a bit negative, but at the end of the day for 6 hours it can be a bit tiring. Also I'm feeling under the weather so I only ask for a little sympathy here.) We started out on the "magic carpet" and then went in for lunch. We then split the class in half and I got five of the older kids, 10-13 age range and we got to hit the lifts immediately. I have to mention it is night and day working with this age range on skis. These were first timers and they were doing great. I will be honest I actually enjoyed myself out in the snow, it was the first time in a while. Today was really the first day that didn't feel like work. All I can say is I hope to get older kids in the future from time to time...

I realize that many of my blogs are negative and I apologize for that and if they bring you down I am sorry. My advice is to stop reading them if they aren't for you, but for those of you that know me pretty well already know that most of the time I write it comes out a little dark, (by "little" that sometimes is really "a lot").

Another note realizing I am a "half glass empty" kind of person is this thought - I enjoy watching sports, but deep down much of me always feels like my team is going to lose despite odds or favor. For example Saturday's with the Falcons and Packers, I'm fairly certain the Falcons are the better team but deep down I'm worried they may lose...as a fan shouldn't I think they will win,  especially since that is the result I hope for? Anyway...that was a random tangent.

Negativity and my walk with God.
I often wondered that because of my feeling of loneliness and lack of purpose out here disappoints God. Initially much of my hope was that having a roommate would be the perfect door for introducing someone to Christ, because who will you get to know better than someone you live with. (In a 10' by 10' room) Surprisingly after only two weeks out here he quits and moves back home. So I have been without a roommate ever since left to my thoughts by myself. I don't want to make excuses as to why and how God can use me and at the same time grow closer to Him. Is it a possibility I came out unprepared for this environment? Was I ill-equipped perhaps? There is a very good chance that may very well be the case. Now I know that doesn't mean I just lay down and quit on the great commission which I am commanded to do. I am socially awkward, I realize that. Could my calling really be to kids? They are the only people that make me not feel so out of place for the most part.  Who knows? As a friend of mine would say to me right now, "Have you prayed about it?" The stubborn me would respond, "No, but...(excuses, excueses, etc..)". They are right as in I should constantly seek Him for support and direction. No lie, it's hard to seek Him all the time, even when we think we've got it figured out.

Really Something by Aaron Sprinkle

Where is Spring...

I've worked on this blog off and on over the past few days so now I'm finally getting around to posting it. What day better than today since I am off of work and also feeling under the weather. First time in a while I have felt sick, hopefully one more day of rest will do the trick since I'm off of work tomorrow also.

So with further thoughts on the potential new game, I've decided to tack a theme on it. It's a space theme...I'm not big on space themes in general but it will be different enough from any other theme we already have. So I have no doubt the titles could be endless. More and more I have confidence that the pieces are falling into place for the playability of this game.

Also the opportunity to work Disciple Now again this year might happen giving me all the more excuse to come home early. Sure maybe I'm lame that I just can't hack it out here, but I think with each passing day I just feel so lost and out of place.

Just for some random laughs >>>>>>>>>>>Brian Regan - You Too and Stuff...<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I am ready for spring. I say this because there are many things I can get back to doing that I have really been missing. A few of these things in no particular order are as follows - mountain biking, playing tennis, watching baseball, and backpacking. Those are some of the things I miss doing the most right now.

So just for the lack of me going out and taking pictures, I'm going to post a few pictures of things I miss and am ready to get back to.

Adrenaline Climbing

Board Game Nights

Mountain Biking

Backpacking

Now for some reason I have failed to have any pictures of tennis on my computer. I must say this is one of the things I miss the most not being able to do out here. I also wish to be back where there is no snow on the ground 100% of the time, where I don't have to wear thermals everywhere I go. After finally getting to see the famous Rocky Mountains, Harry and Lloyd were right, that John Denver is full of it...haha. But in the reality of it all I think the Appalachians are so much prettier and unique in comparison. As much as I miss doing and seeing these things, I would give all of them up to be back around the people I love most.

                                        This Family

This Girl

                                 These Two Guys

Also This Guy

This Guy and This Place

There are a few more I could name but I lack pictures!

Ups, Downs, and the XTR3ME?

One of Copper Mountains’ slogans is “Everybody deserves a snow day”. By that I’m assuming it means a day to go and have some fun, in particular here at Copper. I feel like I deserve a no-snow day, considering 13 straight work days really can be a bit draining. At least here it can feel like that. Unless something strange comes up I should be off on Wednesday. I have no clue what I will do but hopefully it will consist of something outside of this resort.

 My days have pretty much consisted of wake up, go to work, go to my room, go to sleep, and repeat. Pretty uneventful to say the least. My spare time has been fairly unproductive, much more so than I would prefer. One thing I have started doing is brainstorming and trying to develop some new games for next summer at Strong Rock. (Now this is assuming I’ll be rehired though :P, otherwise this work is all in vain). One of my goals is to design a fresh new game that can be played on Field 1 or 2. I find there are many positives to the field games and we have plenty of other “woods” games to choose from. After many unsuccessful brainstorms and blueprints, I finally had a breakthrough today. I think I have found a potentially successful game concept. It contains several of the requirements I have resolved make a fun game - high activity, heavy interaction, objects, goal scoring, and multiple dimensions. So now I am in the rules process in understanding the breakdown for clarity to kids. Also I am a bit stuck on a title, so this is where feedback is appreciated. The game has three ways to score points - I’d like the name to summarize the game on that premise. The only name I’ve come up with so far is XTR3ME or XTR3ME THREE

I’ve also decided after receiving a two-week paycheck that the money made isn’t quite as good as I anticipated. So my hope is to work maybe through February and head back home. Because in all reality when I boil everything down - I’m just not happy here. The experience itself hasn’t even been worthwhile, in hindsight passing on this job would’ve been just fine with me. Being alone and feeling ignored by some people back home has definitely helped me understand myself better and the importance of some of the relationships in my life. Also at work I mostly teach 3-5 year olds and that has worked much more patience in my life, (as camp did in the past as a counselor), although I will say crying still drives me nuts.

I haven’t done this in any of my West4Winter blogs, but I want to give a shout out to those that have truly tried keeping in touch and expressing their care. My grandmothers have both been great in my time away in encouraging me and letting me know I am missed, it is so greatly appreciated and I can’t wait to see them when I get home. My parents have both also been constantly asking how things are going, sometimes asking so many questions it’s annoying but I’m glad that they want to know what’s going on. They’ve all kept in touch every few days and I know that for them to take the time out of their day to just send a message, text, or a phone call means so much to me. Then there is Michelle, who I have yet to understand why she puts up with me. Her willingness to listen or talk to me blows my mind. Even in my darkest hour she knows how to build me up when I tear myself down the most. I don’t like to be the annoying type of person that all they talk about is their significant other, so just this once I want to let anyone that follows this blog that she is one of the most amazing people you could ever meet. She is more than I deserve but I hope I never stop trying to become the person that she does deserve.

This song is awesome, definitely speaks to my heart, hopefully it does to yours as well.
-------->>>>>Sleeping In by Nevertheless

Random Top 5:
Foods I Am Thankful For That I Am Able To Manage In My Little Room -

1. Peanut Butter
2. Gatorade Drink Mix
3. Welch’s Fruit Snacks
4. Ritz Crackers
5. Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars

Words and Music

These Words And Music Break My Heart

Turning the page to another year,
No one here to share it with.
Loneliness is the biggest fear.

Being here reminds me of when someone dies,
The world keeps spinning despite one’s absence.
It’s like 1500 miles severs most all the ties.

I debate the logic of this notion,
Are the people I hold close to me,
Heartless and have no emotion?

Maybe their time is far too occupied,
Perhaps I am not as important to them.
It’s hard to shrug that feeling, I’ve tried.

I don’t want to sound selfish and cold,
But it hurts when I don’t hear from you.
These constant days of repetition are old.

Yet I write this out in a regretful way,
For a response in turn would almost seem vain.
Admitting this is a bitter inner fray.

Sitting here listening to the piano drive,
Drifting through the lyrics peacefully.
A comfort that keeps me somewhat alive.

Sadly I seem to be stuck in a coma,
Where my day consists of work and no play.
Be nice to enjoy a quick game of Roma.

Is it all that unbearable to date?
One month has now passed.
Staying here, is it really my fate?

Lacking the connection to those here,
Feeling rejected by those back home.
Surely something could just feel near.


Thomas

Away From Home For The Holidays

So this is the first Christmas I have ever experienced being away from home. (Christmas Eve) I've got to say it wasn’t so bad until I got off work and just having to hear the acknowledgement of it’s occurrence made me feel pretty alone. In fact it is the loneliest I have felt since I arrived here the first time. I am able to acknowledge at this point being here for a month that I probably won't find anybody here that I can call a real friend.

(Christmas Day) Knowing today was going to be slow at work, I was hoping I would still get a full day. Luckily I got plugged into TLC doing odd jobs and answering the phone and I ended up getting the full day I had hoped for. I did get a couple of friendly messages today from a couple of people, it's nice when someone takes the time out of their day to tell you Merry Christmas, knowing you are away from home it means more than one can know. Thanks you to those that recognized my absence, being missed warms my heart.

Well, besides all that I figure I should catch you up with what all has occurred at work. This week I managed to shadow a younger kids class and an older kids class. Also on Wednesday I got to teach my first class. It was a group of three year olds and it was their first time on skis. I had a total of three to handle and I've got to say that three was plenty. It was tough work trying to keep these three focused on anything for more than five seconds. I discovered that three year olds have to go to the bathroom all the time as well. By the end of the day I would guess the kids were out on the snow for a maybe a mere two hours. I think they had fun, so really that is all that matters. I also received a nice tip from one of the kid's fathers, so that was definitely a nice little note to end the day on.

From December 26th through January 5th we are supposed to be extremely busy. This is good simply because I will have the chance to get plenty of work as well as more teaching experience. By the end of that time I will have been here for about a month.  It feels like it has been so much longer, time doesn't really fly by here compared to camp. I guess it's from all the down time in the evenings.

Ho Ho Hopefully by The Maine

Colorado, Camp, and Kids

Seeing a little bit of how God has a bigger picture.

Being out here it’s really taken me into an element of being away from familiarity which has been difficult at times but also a good thing I’m sure. After a few days of work in and around the ski school I’m understanding some of the things that are being molded into my life. I know for me when it comes to work I need words of encouragement or I will doubt my performance. Although rare there are one or two supervisors who absolutely pour out such encouraging things when you are around. I find that so refreshing to find someone that has that ability to be such a positive force with a seamless effort. Yesterday I worked in TLC (which me being dumb, stand for tender, love, and care), as well as working the “magic carpet helping kids on it and picking them up if they fell. This isn’t to brag on myself but I caught myself learning every kid’s name and every time they hit the lift I would say something encouraging to let them know they were doing great. Sure I could compare this to camp because it has that same emphasis, but yesterday felt different.  It almost felt effortless like a second-nature. I don’t know what triggered it but I know one of my weaknesses is my ability to dispense encouraging words to others often. I know that needs to be something I must do in any job setting. It is a trait that I think any good leader needs to have. One person that comes to mind from camp is Stretch. He is the same age as myself yet he has such an amazing ability to say something with a genuine heart that can just put a notion of confidence in your step or a smile to your face.

It’s kind of sad but it’s so easy to be critical of those we know the best. We forget the importance of building one another up as humans. Knowing that I can’t help but think the more time I spend at Strong Rock the more it truly feels like a home, that can be good but also bad. Growing comfortable can cause us to forget the things that are so valuable to us. Yet the moment we lose them we then wish that the time wasn’t taken for granted. So it reminds me of the hard moments at camp and the day off is so highly anticipated, but come November we really wish we were back at camp. Maybe my abilities of being a good worker are solid but have lost a touch of excitement and joy because of the time spent in one place. I don’t want to come back the same as before. I want to be that positive force that really builds people up as opposed to that person that has just been around for a while.

Which brings me to understanding a few things out here in Colorado.

• I have been taken out of my element to grow as a person in understanding the way in which God can and will use me or develop me. Honestly I think being out here most of what my Father will be doing is developing me as his child in so many new ways, in turn this could be a place He will use me to reach somebody out here. 
• I’ve discovered skiing is not a passion of mine. Don’t get me wrong because I really do enjoy it but at the end of the day it’s just another thing to occupy idle time. I think I’m more fueled by other activities like tennis or climbing.
• Other than the fact that I am working with kids I really see that I am fairly driven by a paycheck. I don’t really like that feeling because I really don’t care too much about money. I think much of it is due to the lack of structure some days and the overall employee atmosphere. I would suggest 75% of them took this job to ski for free, 15% because they wanted to work with kids, and 10% because they needed a job/money. 
• Knowing my drive here really makes me appreciate working at camp. I honestly love working at camp, really I don’t even think of it as working. It is more like serving and having fun along the way. I think a paycheck is at the bottom of my priorities. The solid backbone and infrastructure of camp is awesome to me, the majority of people that come out to serve blows me away. What a wonderful world it would be to see where all jobs were driven by the beating hearts of people with a passion to serve.
• 3 year olds in ski boots would have to be added to my top 5 funniest things to see in life. Not only are they cute but they are so funny to watch trying to walk around. Also for some reason little kids enjoy eating snow more than they do skiing.
• Public transportation is never a sure thing. The weather out here is highly unpredictable. It can be sunny and pretty but 10 degrees out side. Then it will be cloudy and puking snow at a comfortable 45 degrees. It makes no sense at all.
• I don’t know if it’s the cold or what, but the music I am listening to has transition from rock/pop to folk/blues. Speaking of which go check out Willy Mason, Sea Wolf, and Jeremy Fisher.
• I will have to argue the whole mountain debate though. I will still take the Appalachians any day over the Rockies. Sure the Rockies are big…but they lack the unique appeal than what I am used to. Just my opinion of course but I’ll still argue my case either way.
• Wow, surprised I hadn't mentioned this before but the internet here in The EDGE is absolutely awful. It is really hit and miss, most of the time it is super slow…meaning virtually unresponsive.

This is definitely a long blog. Yes, I know I said I would shoot for some new pictures, but I have obviously failed to provide. Just imagine pine trees and lots of snow. It’s about as exciting as saying “snow and pine trees”.

- Thomas